Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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