He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
