She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize