he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
