Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
