Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
