i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Randomize
