Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
