I puked a lego.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
