bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
