Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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