Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
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