So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
