porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
