community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
