accomplished twins. life is a go
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
