i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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