he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
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