how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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