so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
