someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
