doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
