White coat. Heels.
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
