Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
