omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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