Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
