I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
