he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
