i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
