How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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