Umm I'm too high to move.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
