Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize