He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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