My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
