Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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