the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
