I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
We don't watch enough power rangers
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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