we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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