I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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