guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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