It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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