my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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