Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Houston, we have a blender
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
