I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
