I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
