Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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