why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
