Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
