why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
