Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
