I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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