I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Randomize
