And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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