My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
