No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
