so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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