Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Congratulations! We have a period
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
