there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
